Monday, April 23, 2007

DIRTY MIND

At least I knew which city I was in when I woke at 3am this morning. I knew this because as I gained consciousness my brain was already deeply involved in working out the answer to a very Manhattan-specific question - 'where is my nearest soil?'. (Clearly if I'd still been in Tokyo, the question would have been totally different, and something along the lines of 'which bits of this plate of soil sitting in front of me is it safe to eat?')

I've no idea why I was so concerned about finding soil at 3am, but it seemed pretty important at the time, in the cold dark of night, so I figured the sooner I'd worked out the answer, the sooner I could get back to sleep. It was actually more complicated than I thought. Strictly speaking my nearest soil is in a small square garden a mere 2 long blocks from here. But that doesn't really count, as the garden is only accessible to residents and I don't have a key - 'private' soil, in other words. A breaking and entering situation seems a bit of a risky venture just to get hold of some soil, particularly when you don't even know what you want it for.

My nearest 'public' soil therefore must be 6 blocks south or 5 long blocks west. Which seems an awful long way when you come from London, where even in the centre of the city there are bits of grass or garden pretty much around every corner.

It's dangerous to get into any sort of 3.30am panic when you're suffering from insomnia, so even though I don't need any soil, I vowed to go out and buy some in the morning, just so as it'll be around, and I can stop worrying about it and go back to sleep. Except I have no idea where my nearest garden centre is, so now it is 4.10am and I am googling Manhattan garden centres for some soil I don't want or need, and I am very much awake.........

6 Comments:

Anonymous jimbobwoof said...

where's your nearest sod?

5:51 AM, April 23, 2007  
Blogger codenameLizzy said...

I've got 20 bags of it down my alley.
Rest assured.
x

2:54 PM, April 23, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We've got sod. Sod we've got. Please request sod. Will be delivered at some sodding charge. And yes, you write so well.

tsena

7:12 PM, April 24, 2007  
Anonymous jb said...

i know it's not the same but if it will put you to sleep, come 30 blocks north and 2 long blocks west to help Storm and Co. plant the bamboo on the roof deck in a couple of weeks.
jb

7:44 PM, April 25, 2007  
Anonymous Uptown Nige said...

hi there sue! welcome back. you can get soil at the Union Square Green market. They sell worms too. So you could even MAKE some soil if you wanted. You just put them in a bin and they can make soil out of anything, so they say (not the worms, the people who sell them). I love that you call it soil. If you'd been in America too long you'd call it "dirt". xxx Uptown Nige

7:44 PM, April 26, 2007  
Blogger codenameLizzy said...

American Idol update pl.
x

4:37 PM, May 03, 2007  

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