Friday, September 15, 2006


I'd figured that getting to the blood testing centre at opening time would mean I wouldn't have to wait in a huge queue......
7.30am and clearly people had been camping out overnight, like Madonna was billed to draw the blood. What's more - the queue all definitely had tuberculosis, even I could tell them that without them having to be tested.

'Take a seat' I was told. If I had actually been able to TAKE the seat somewhere else entirely that would've been fine, but as the only seat was placed between TB and yellow fever, I mumbled 'No, it's okay I'll stand'.
'TAKE A SEAT' the receptionist yelled. Blimey.
Believe me, it's well difficult to hold your breath for over 10 minutes - I understand the whole David Blaine fuss now.

So much for being early. All it meant was that I got the nurse who was late. She entered screaming about traffic delays and dripping wet, then proceeded to yell at her childminder on her cellphone for 5 minutes. Still cursing and with her coat on, she called the name 'Fernandez!' Nobody moved. 'Fernandez!!!' irritably. The receptionist looked accusingly at me. 'Errr that's not my name'.
"That's what it says here!' I spelled my name out again. 'Yes that's what I said -Fernandez! Go in there!' she retorted even more impatiently. Ah whatever....

I smiled at her in my best empathetic calming way as she continued to rant about every highway from here to deepest darkest Jersey, with childminder expletives thrown in for good measure.
'Perhaps you should have a coffee and relax a bit - you've obviously had a very stressful morning'.....
(read - Please don't let this raving maniac stick a needle in my arm........).
Too late. she went in from a great height and with all the angst of American road rage, and believe me, that's a whole different rifle range to English road rage.

She removed 10 test tubes ie. about half the contents of my bloodstream, which amounted to about all that the current mosquito infestation had left behind. And she did it with the gusto of someone who dearly loves her job.

In this country, for this we PAY.....


Blogger jimbobwoof said...

Don;t start quoting the Merhcant of Venice: she might go for the pund of flesh as well

5:08 PM, September 16, 2006  
Blogger jimbobwoof said...

"pund of flesh" - must be the Dublin production

5:08 PM, September 16, 2006  

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