QI TO THE HIGHWAY

Apologies for the 9 month glitch. No I haven’t had a baby. Actually I’ve no idea what happened, aside from a few months work, but I have to write now because I’ve been introduced to Feng Shui by the ever-helpful T, and one of the fundamental rules is that if I haven’t used something for months then I have to throw it away.

The introduction of Feng Shui into my life was supposed to make things easier, but instead it seems to have thrown up a whole new layer of problems.
For instance – our apartment’s 'Bagua' totally lacks a ‘love, marriage and relationship’ section. It simply doesn’t have one. Our love, marriage and relationship area is actually in apartment 13B. I have no idea who lives in 13B. (Yet...)
‘Perhaps we should find out who lives in apartment 13B. We may find the love of our lives there or something…’ (me to the TH. Half joking. Obviously).
TH, not even looking up from his latest CDO crisis - ‘yes darling, that’s a great idea. I totally agree’.
‘Errrr, did you hear what I said?’
Pause. ‘Errr .. no not really’.
All of which kind of speaks for itself.

Then there is the prosperity, wealth and abundance area. Currently the toilet. Which frankly explains a lot. Short of moving the lavatory or the front door, neither of which would probably be acceptable tenant behaviour, there is very little I can do.
‘You’ll have to move’ T concluded decisively. Actually with our current prosperity, wealth and abundance situation we probably will have to move…..

Aside from these major problems, there is the relatively minor problem of me sleeping directly underneath a beam. This merely means that I have health problems in my whole body. I tried sleeping across the bed, which apparently only creates health problems in the thigh area, but this puts me in the ‘lonely pillow’ position.
Yeah. I’ll say.
Have you ever tried sleeping diagonally across your partner?

And DON’T and I repeat DON’T try this at home - the’ hanging of bamboo flutes from the beam’ solution - because they HURT when they fall on your head.
There is an alternative if we switch the whole room around, but this would mean Qi coming down from the sides of the beam between us, causing ‘separation or divorce’. A no win situation I think you’ll agree.

On the upside, if you're coming to visit, then the guest room is the centre of offspring. You have been warned.

So I have to do what I can, which is the 'clearing of clutter'. Luckily it is Spring in New York now, which usually lasts for about 4 days, so I am spending the week spring cleaning before it gets too hot to do anything other than get on a plane to somewhere else.

As part of this process, the right hand links column of this blog is about to undergo a ruthless cull, so if you want to stay linked you’d better have blogged in the last few months or I'd better have eaten in you. In short, and in the words of Ryan Seacrest, very few of you, aside from my American Idol the Marquis, are 'safe'.
Just sayin’.